Escape Into Chris – Entry 6

Sketch by Chris Al-Aswad

September 2006 – Normal, IL

Poems to my mother

We had fun didn’t we – on earth
We laughed, our laughing
released us from the pain
of circumstance.

We couldn’t adequately explain
or escape but like now
there are these nether worlds
right above or beyond – the
colliding particles of everyone else.

What I’m saying is that there’s
always a space to build a
sanctuary –

No space is too small –
your laughter filled those rooms
my laughter was the sky blue lining of yours –
enspiraled in one another.

hard to explain things now –
there has obviously been
a change

me here

you there

or here
i’m not able to give
the right word for every
designation

but i know this world is where
i’d rather be

opposed to the world on the other
side of this thin wall of
air? clouds? membrance of
something –

there are default worlds –
default worlds of pain – of
hunger – of void –

And i’d rather be in this
bright world of you –
of miracles dancing

I belong here. don’t i mother
with you. or not?

Are we really in two separate places?

i laugh when i think of all people i project my feelings onto –

when it’s so much better –
to relieve these minor deities

And talk to the source –

talk to the source – All these
bright stars – these individuals
web of stars – i’d talk to them
all – i’d memorize each one
of their stories – but

the door – the big door

is open. why make cold calls

to darkness – when angels

welcome you into light –

go ahead, fall back if you have to
Christopher

it’s only natural – gravity pulls
you down – everyone has to
deal with that –

Then go – let yourself go – Rise
like nothing – like everything
without weight –

this life it fades out –

watch with me
watch

i disappear

forever.