Escape Into Chris – Entry 1

Self Portrait (The Desperate Man), 1844-45, by Gustave Courbet

In tribute to the life and works of Chris Al-Aswad, we, his family, are honoring his memory by posting regular excerpts from his writings here at his website Escapeintolife.com

Summer 2006 –  Normal, IL

“… I worry that I won’t have enough time, once work starts, to read and write. But I also know there is always enough time. We just don’t happen to see all the time that is available to us because we are clouded by a fear of death.

My urge to read and write is a defense against death and its anxiety. I feel that I am finite and by reading and writing and by leaving a living record of my self, I believe that I can transcend my own death. I participate in the life that so many people lead without even thinking about it. That is, working a regular job, having a family, or having a wife for me is a burden, because by leading what most would consider a normal life I am “giving up”, in a sense, I am surrendering to my own mortality. By retreating into this world I have created with words and books, I hope to transcend my own death. But I need to make sure I live. I will never be able to transcend death until I fully live.”